open your g.d. eyes

because it's snowing at 50 feet.
this is a sideways picture of snow on my garlic. turn your robot head to the side. go on.

things i scored at the old folks' home rummage sale this morning

scrabble. 50 cents

2 metal school lunch trays. free (not stolen, just free)

fire king bowl. 10 cents (old people have no idea how much their stuff is worth)

splurge of the day: giant old atlas. one dollar

the helpers at this sale were mostly between the ages of 80-92, which made for slow, but adorable, accounting, change making and stapling shut of bags. i think i have to volunteer next year.

names i don't really like

1. Stacy

(and, if your name happens to be Stacy, I'd be interested to know what names YOU don't like.)

i never thought my baby would have so much hair...

or such sharp claws. you cannot imagine my stretch marks, but it was all worth it. my friend lora somehow managed to wrangle a one-sie on the wildest kitten ever.

my car is a bigger piece of shit than yours

one of my hoses (no, not my fallopian hose) sprang a leak this weekend as i was entertaining my in-town guest lora. she was a good sport and opened the magical bin where the coolant resides with a spare diaper she had in her bag. i'm convinced that midwestern stay at home moms are WAY more prepared than boy scouts. joren almost never has a spare diaper in his bag.

tuesday night

last night i was wandering around with a flashlight looking for a friend's missing dog. whistling, walking, making figure 8s with my flashlight... i walked into a chicken coop and a chicken flew right at my head. luckily i had my heavy duty flashlight and beat it senseless.

the end

p.s. the dog came back. 

p.s.s. the chicken did not.

i found a dead robin today

i buried it in the backyard so someday soon i will have a tiny bird skull. also so he could rest in peace. until i dig him up, i mean.

yes, i do.

apparently i DO have some use for jesus in my life. ps. mole eyes are no laughing matter.

some old fashioned puppy swiping

i know it doesn't seem right to condone this sort of thing, but this is the puppy my nieces captured recently. her name's daisy.

some things we did this weekend, or maybe last weekend

there's a cool shadow on my face that highlights my parisian moustache which is coming in just in time for easter!
on top of the world, looking down on some clouds/creation/a really tiny ihop at the base of the mountain

my spring duck fuzz is coming in! see? on the side of my head.

if you've ever wondered how i look with finger lickin chicken fingers on a ski outing

well then, today's your lucky day. nothin says fun like chicken in a baggie on mount hood. and i know it's a shitty picture. i'm just trying not to be vein in an attempt for you to see the real me. the genuine greasy, lightly battered me.

not in a hat

cat in a recycling basket, along with toilet paper rolls and egg cartons. but NOT pizza boxes, tina. you cannot recycle those and you will get a nasty note from the recycling crew if you try to. true. 

ps. note peanut's little plastic toenail caps. we chose blue because we recently had his testicles taken off and wanted him to maintain some sort of his former masculinity. and we all know that blue toenails scream, "i still have testicles!".