Tonight

I'm officially instituting "one dollar dinner" night. Seeing what I can make for 1.99 or less. People who would like this: Sarah T., Pat, Jim Howard, and my brother. Although Bob is the one who would require receipts, and would also challenge me on how much the propane cost (true). Which I already figured, and is, at best, a nickel.

On tonight's menu:

Linguini, one box
1 squash (garden grown)
1 zucchini (garden grown)
1 onion (garden grown)
2 ears of corn (Fedex-ed from Kansas)

Veggies roasted on the grill in olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic, served over pasta with a sprinkling of parmesan. Tina would call it parm. Because she's an aficionado.
Corn also roasted on the grill, served hot, on the ear.

Total: $1.32

And yes. I know. It's not exactly a dollar, but if it's less than 2, it's still sort of a dollar. So go on, and get up outta my math grill.

Besides beets.

Pork chops. That's all. PORK CHOPS! Sometimes I'll sizzle one up for breakfast. Things are getting pretty crazy around here. My friend Sarah (probably the only one who will read this post) doesn't like pork. Or maybe it's just not her favorite. She either grew up on a pork farm, or lived next to one, or had to slaughter swine as a child (I can never remember), thus developing this crazy aversion to pork. 

Joren asked me the other night, "What made you think of cooking pork chops?". Are you kidding? I'm almost always thinking of cooking pork chops. Maybe I'm cooking one right now.

Where have beets been all my life?

My mom will smile when she reads this, which she won't. But if she did read it, she would smile an ironic smile. She was always trying to push beets on us. "Get off your beet pedestal", I would think. Jeez, lady. Ease up on the beets.

But, alas. Beets are now at the center of my very small and predictable universe. Have you had a beet lately? Roasted it in your oven in a foil pouch with a little olive oil? Holy shit. They are consistently (3 nights in a row) blowing my g.d. mind.

I'll be sitting there next to Joren. We'll be eating our salads, loaded with beets, silently. Except for the sound of me... "Aren't these beets delicious?" "Seriously, I could make myself sick eating so many." "Aren't these beets delicious?" "And look at the color."

It's a fascinating one way (except for Joren nodding) conversation. You should come for dinner sometime and join in on either the praising of beets or just the nodding. I'll make beets.

2013 recap

I learned how to make a PERFECT hard boiled egg, so I'm not sweatin' it. It's harder than you think. Try it. Cracking? Hard to peel? Grey-ish around the hard yellow-ish? I know! Or I used to. I hardly remember all those bullshit egg problems anymore.

That's it. The highlight of the entire calendar year.

HEAT WAVE

i woke up to a lovely 58 degrees. don't ask me if it's f or c, because i can never remember. it's the american 58. after having read it was going to be 88 today (sizzly, i know) i flew directly into "try not to panic: keep the house cool" mode.

doors were opened. fans were switched on. sweaters were donned. we (aero and i) waited. we also washed diapers and cleaned the cat box, but we waited in tandem. the moment the outside temperature equalled the inside temperature, doors were slid shut, windows closed, fingers were crossed. aero's terrible at this part. those darling fat little year old digits don't cross so well. unless they're sticky. that helps.

do we turn on lights? no. dryer? nuh uh. oven? for god's sake no. to support this "no oven if it's hotter than 82 degrees" policy, i've been creating, crafting and honing meals i can cook in a large foil pouch and put on the grill. it's in a tenuous attempt to keep the house cool during these tremendously oppressive heat waves we get in the pacific northwest. so back to foil pouches. kind of like camp, but with no chiggers and frosty cold beers. i still pee outside some, but we have the option of using the fancy inside toilets.

today's foil pouch creation started with, "hey. i've got some cauliflower in the fridge". about 6 pounds of refrigerator treasures and 2 yards of foil later, i think i'm done.

pouch ingredients for those of you who are waiting anxiously on the edge of your seat...

cauliflower. broccoli. chick peas. yellow onion. yams (i think they're yams, at least. maybe parsnips). golden beets. olive oil. curry powder. garlic salt. a kiss of ginger. garam masala. and... drum roll here... THE JUICE OF A  GODDAMNED LIME!

i know this makes some of you want to get here as fast as a southwest direct flight can carry you. others? makes you maybe never want to come. or at the very least, bring a slab of ribs with you the next time you do. (which i encourage, by the way).

i'm not ashamed so shut up

i just polished off a can of easy cheese and i wanted to report back on the most interesting things the can told me.

• made with real cheese
• no need to refrigerate
• excellent source of calcium!

baby went a walkin'

aero and i went on a nature walk today, mostly to find free flowers to cut. not out of people's yards. but little neighborhood nooks maybe where a daffodil or two are blooming, and lonely, and in need of a good home. no such luck. nature can be such a stinge.

oh, portland.

i saw a sign today at my neighborhood library for a lovely little event called "Read to the Dogs". no shit. i mean, i can't find time or room in my heart to read to, i don't know, blind people. or old people. one person can be indifferent to only so many neglected souls.

you're not hungry, you're thirsty

someone tried to tell me this recently. and "maybe" i was "thirsty", mostly because i drink like 6 ounces of water every other day, but god dammit if i didn't also feel like some delicious spare ribs.

where the F is my rolling pin?

don't panic. i found it, but not before borrowing my neighbor's tupperware version. SUCK. it totally sucked. it was a plastic tube, not at all useful for a. rolling chilled dough (or) b. beating your children. in the end i used a bottle of tequila. for rolling, beating AND drinking.

today

i'm tackling the boxes stacked in the guest room,

most of which are marked with a combination of the following words:

fragile

super-fragile

shells

jars

jars with shells

jars with other things

beakers

croquet balls

fur hat

so. if you need any shells. or jars. or croquet balls, we've got plenty.

also, globes. lots of globes. but only one fur hat.

Duct tape pants update

i'm still wearing them. the corduroys i fixed with duct tape. or should i say ROCKIN them. hard. the duct tape is sort of coming loose. sort of! get off my back! they're still fine, and completely fuzz-less.

I had a baby

for those of you who did not know, i birthed a baby.

magical? wondrous?

perhaps.

if you think the sensation of pushing a bowling ball

out your bottom is magical.

it is. and she's perfect.

Turn that shit UP

i'm not very technical, but the volume on our cd player only turns up to what i think is about a 3. 4 maximum, before it shuts off and starts blinking at me. i cannot. nay, will not live my life on volume 3. those who know me are nodding.

San Francisco-ing

if you've never been, it's filled with mist and smells and lots of little old asian women with sharp elbows. also, a wong memorial park or two.

(above) it's like cheers. where everybody knows your name, if it happens to be willie or woo woo or wong.

seriously. do they even have to add 'tasty'? no, they do not.

and if you'd like to take a look at the other blog i've turned a blind mole eye to it's: bethandjorenshouse.blogspot.com

okay. alright. get off my ass. i've been building a house. and it's exhausting ignoring two blogs instead of just one. you have no idea of the time commitment disregard takes. obviously.

LOST!

no. not just a chicken. a TINY grey chicken.

posted all over my neighborhood, i surmised this tiny grey chicken was loved. or worth at least a hundred dollars.

you can imagine my surprise when i saw a little chicken running across the street in front of our house. actually, it happens more than one might think. loose chickens happen fairly frequently in portland. we're irresponsible that way.

so i think, WOW! i am a. going to capture this chicken b. reunite a family and c. make some sweet reward cash! all in one afternoon!

so, i corner the chicken in a neighbor's yard and call the number on the poster. yes, it's a chicken. it's sort of little. and black and white. does that constitute grey? the guy comes running down the street to where the chicken is now taking a dust bath, whatever that is. turns out it's not the tiny grey chicken, but a totally different chicken he had misplaced. apparently, no reward for this loser. suck!

at first i thought this said...

stop eating flies. which i thought was hilarious. hilarious! no. i don' t know why.

but stop eating flesh? not funny at all.

my work trip to salida, colorado

pat and i worked all week on our business plan.

work, work, work.

trip highlights: free day old bread from the caring and sharing thrift shop! and...

prunes, a burro.